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The Moblins Are Revolting/Episode transcript

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This is the episode transcript for "The Moblins are Revolting."

(Moblins are climbing the castle walls with the aid of Grappling Hooks while Goriyas also try to make their way to the room where the Triforce of Wisdom is. Link is reading a comic book when the Moblins and the Goriyas enter the room. They end up defeating each other with their clumsiness without Link having to get up from his bed.)

Link: Boy, I'm good.

(at the Underworld inside the Evil Jar)

Moblin 1: It not our fault. They get in our way. Stupid little Goriyas, all over!

Moblin 2: You were in our way, jumping in the window right on top of us! (a Goriya behind him grabs him and the two start fighting)

Ganon: Silence! (electrocutes them) Maybe that will shock some sense into you! Ah! (teleports somewhere else)

Moblin 1: That not fair. It HIS stupid plan.

Goriya 1: Uh, yeah! We should have come from below instead.

Moblin 1: Yeah, but no way. Ganon's the boss. We gotta follow HIS orders. Hmph.

Goriya 1: Uh, why? We can do better. Let's kick him out!

Moblin 2: Yeah, good idea. And I know just how to do it. Come here. (the Moblins and Goriyas gather up)

Ganon: Ah, my Capture Staff is finished! Now for a test. (teleports back into the Evil Jar room) Who would like to volunteer to test my latest device? (Moblins and Goriyas back away) Alright then. I volunteer you! (zaps a Moblin out of the Evil Jar and uses the Capture Staff to trap a Moblin inside a bubble)

Moblin 1: Hey, no! Lemme out!

Ganon: It works. Totally impervious to magic and completely indestructible.

Moblin 1: Amazing, master. This bubble really indestructible.

Ganon: Except for THIS! The Triforce of Power! (drops him on top of the Triforce of Power and the bubble bursts) Aha ha ha! This will be the perfect thing to trap Zelda with, and no magic but MINE could free her! (the Moblin has the Capture Staff next to him) Once again, my plan is perfect! (the Moblin grabs the Capture Staff)

Moblin 1: We tired of your plans, Ganon. So now, laugh's on you! (traps Ganon in a bubble)

Ganon: Ah! I'll get you! (tries to teleport out of the bubble but cannot exit) Blast! I can't get out. (shoots magic at Moblin but it deflects back to him) Ah, let me out! You'll pay for this, you traitors!

Moblin 1: (removes a floor tile) No way, boss. (pushes Ganon to the hole made by the floor tile) We taking over. (drops Ganon into the hole) And you dropping out, hehe.

Ganon: (falling) No, no! Not the Bottomless Pit! Noooo!

(the Moblin removes the statue blocking the exit of the Evil Jar)

Moblin 1: He gone. Everybody out. (all the monsters exit) Up to us now. We must make plans. Here, hold this, and DON'T drop it. (gives the Capture Staff to another Moblin)

Moblin 2: Don't what?

Moblin 1: Drop it, stupid!

Moblin 2: Whatever you say. (drops the staff and breaks it)

Moblin 1: Oh! Now I know how Ganon feel!

(at the Bottomless Pit)

Ganon: Those traitor vermin! What are they up to?

(at Ganon's lair, the monsters break the statue covering the Evil Jar and more monsters escape. Two Gohmas then grab the Evil Jar)

Moblin 1: That's it. The Evil Jar. It ours now! Take it to another covert! (climbs the Evil Jar) Hey! We rule Underworld now! And first thing we do is get revenge on Link and Zelda.

(at the castle)

Zelda: (bored) Hm. So?

Link: So I'm just lying there, right? (a rock flies through the window towards a jar) And then suddenly, from the window, I hear this crash! (the rock crashes the jar)

Zelda: Goodness! You certainly tell a realistic story.

Link: Hey! A note! (picks up rock and reads it) It says, "Princess Zelda, surrender or be destroyed! Signed, the Brotherhood of Underworld Monsters."

Zelda: (looking out the window) Link! Look at this!

Link: Uh-oh, princess. (the monsters have the castle surrounded) Looks like it's going to be a busy day.

Zelda: Ganon's monsters have surrounded the castle! But where's Ganon? I don't see him anywhere!

Link: I have a feeling Ganon's got his own troubles.

(at the Bottomless Pit, Ganon continues to fall)

Ganon: (shoots more magic but it deflects back at him) Ow! Blast! I'm still falling! And none of my magic will get through this bubble! But maybe...that's it! My magic will still work INSIDE the bubble! I'll make a balloon to float me back up again! (creates another bubble inside and begins to float upwards) It works! I'm rising! And soon...I'll have my revenge!

(outside the castle walls)

Moblin 1: Ok, you charge on my signal! We go up, break castle gates, when I signal like this. (makes signal and monsters begin to charge to the castle) No! Wait! It too far! No! Wait, I said! (monsters get tired and collapse) Oh, you idiots!

Zelda: Wait, Link. We may not need a hero to fight off this attack. We may not even need you.

Link: Well, excuuuuse me, princess.

Zelda: (laughs) Look over there!

Moblin 1: (talking to several Stalfos wielding bows) We show them we mean business! Get ready to fire on castle! (meanwhile, a Goriya commands Vires to carry several Octoroks as they fire bombs inside the castle)

Goriya 1: Uh, my Octobombers are gonna get them!

Moblins 1: Fire! (the Stalfos fire their arrows and hit the Vires and Octoroks) Oops! This job harder than I thought.

Link: (laughs) I see what you mean, princess! These dimwits are beating themselves!

Zelda: C'mon! Let's go find what Ganon is up to.

(Tinsuits begin to climb a ladder to get inside the castle but the ladder breaks)

Goriya 1: Oh, I told you so!

Goriya 2: Why should I listen to an airhead like you?

Goriya 1: Airhead? Take this, potatobrain! (the two begin to fight)

(Lynels are readying catapults and Moblin 1 climbs on top of the catapult)

Moblin 1: Now, when I say "fire"-- (the Lynel releases the catapult and the Moblin goes flying) Not yet! (lands in the fountain of the castle)

Link: Hey, Moblin! This is the STUPIDEST attack Ganon ever cooked up!

Moblin 1: Not Ganon. We get rid of him. We in charge now.

Zelda: Ganon's...gone? (simultaneously with Link) Let's go get his Triforce!

Link: C'mon, there's an old Underworld entrance in the dungeon. (leaves but then returns to where the Moblin is) Oops, almost forgot. (zaps the Moblin and grabs the bomb he was carrying)

(at the Bottomless Pit, Ganon continues to float up)

Ganon: Almost...to the top! Soon...revenge!

Link: Shoo, what a piece of cake. The whole Underworld is deserted and Ganon's gone! Practically makes a hero wanna retire.

Zelda: Link! A Dodongo! (a Dodongo charges at them and Link pushes Zelda out of the way. Link zaps the creature twice then charges at the young hero, but Zelda throws a bomb in the Dodongo's mouth to defeat it)

Link: You saved us, princess! Kiss me.

Zelda: (laughs) Link, let's go.

Link: It was worth a try.

Zelda: Ah, the Triforce of Power! At last, I will have both Triforces, and our kingdom will be safe forever!

Link: Hmm...and I'll be out of the job.

Ganon: Don't you dare!

Zelda: Ganon!

Ganon: That's my [?]. I stole it fair and square. (uses magic inside the bubble but it deflects back at him) Ow! I keep forgetting I can't do that.

Link: Oh, you can't, eh? Ha ha! This is where we have some fun, princess. (picks Ganon up)

Ganon: Put me down, you insolent worm!

Zelda: Link, stop fooling around! Let's get the Triforce and get out of here.

Link: Aw, c'mon, princess. Lighten up! Here, have a ball! (throws the bubble at Zelda, but she accidentally pushes it back to the Triforce of Power and the bubble bursts)

Ganon: (angry)

Zelda: Ah! (runs away)

Link: Oop, now I've done it. (both Link and Zelda exit the Underworld)

Ganon: Any other time, I will pursue you, insects! But there are others I wish to deal with first!

(back at the castle, all of the monsters are tired and worn out)

Moblin 1: Form up, form up! We try again. (the monsters moan and complain, then a sudden mist covers the monster) Uh-oh, somebody let the boss out. (all of the monsters are taken back to the Underworld)

(at the Underworld, all the monsters are bowing down at Ganon)

Ganon: You traitors will pay for your insolence NOW! This place is a mess! I want it clean up...with your TONGUES! (Ganon's minions begin to lick the floor)

(back at the castle)

Zelda: Ungh...don't touch me! I'm not speaking to you!

Link: Aw, c'mon, princess!

Zelda: No! We almost had the Triforce, it was right there! But nooo, you had to start messing around!

Link: I know, I know, it was all my fault! So there's only one thing I can say, I guess.

Zelda: And that is?

Link: Excuuuuse me, princess.

Zelda: Ugh! (puts a bucket on Link's head)

Link: Oh well, at least I still have a job.