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The Missing Link/Episode transcript

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This is the episode transcript for "The Missing Link"

(in the castle's courtyard, Zelda is picking up some flowers when suddenly the fountain explodes)

Zelda: Ah!

Link: Zelda! (Moblins come out from the underworld and begin to fire arrows. Link grabs his sword and shield drops down to fight the Moblins) Zelda, you alright?

Zelda: I'm fine. (Moblins shoot arrows at Zelda which Link blocks with his shield) But Ganon's coming. (grabs Link's shield) I MUST get the Triforce to fight Ganon, you hold them here. (runs off with Link's shield)

Link: Hey! [?]

Ganon: Eliminate that heroic pest! I want Zelda. My new Wand of Power will allow me to zap her into my Evil Jar!

(Link continues to evade the Moblins' attacks)

Zelda: Hang on, Link! I've got the Triforce! And it's time to fight magic with magic. (throws a magic spell at three Moblins to defeat them)

Ganon: Very good, princess. But not good enough. Time to send you to my Evil Jar! (sends a spell from the Wand of Power at Zelda)

Zelda: No! (creates a barrier with the Triforce's magic and blocks the attack)

Ganon: Blast! She deflected my power zap! (The zap is sent off bouncing all over the castle walls and it heads in Link's direction)

Link: Oh no! (tries to run away but it hits him and captures his body, making it disappear) Ahhhh!

Zelda: Link! No!

Ganon: Well, not quite what I planned, but it will do! Give me the Triforce, princess.

Zelda: Come and get it, pigface!

Ganon: Oh, I could. But why work so hard? You will bring me that Triforce, princess, or you'll never see your precious Link again! Aha ha ha ha! (disappears back into the Underworld)

Zelda: (kneels down next to Link's Crissword) Link...oh, Link! Oh, I'm so sorry! (cries)

Link: Sheesh, you'd think I was destroyed or something.

Zelda: Link? (looks up and sees Link's spirit) Link! (gets up to hug him but runs through him and falls) Oof! Wha? I can see you, but...I can't feel you!

Link: A drag, I know. I seem to have gotten a bit ghostly after that zap of Ganon's.

Zelda: The zap, of course! All that bouncing around it did must have weakened it before it hit you! It got your body but not your spirit!

Spryte: Goodness, what a mess! I guess Ganon was here. Where's Link, princess?

Zelda: Why, right here. Can't you see him?

Spryte: No. Is he hiding?

Link: I'm right here!

Spryte: Oh! (turns around) Huh? Where'd he go? I heard him, but I don't see him!

Zelda: That's strange. I wonder if I'm the only one that can see him.

Link: That'll be your lucky day, princess! (tries to kiss Zelda)

Zelda: That's not what I call it. (pushes him away) But we've gotta get your body back from Ganon.

Link: Don't tell me you only love me for my body. (tries to grab his sword) Huh?

Zelda: Love you? Hah! It's just that without your body you're even MORE useless than usual.

Spryte: Well, maybe he'll eat less.

Zelda: Now THAT would be a blessing. Take the Triforce back to the vault, will you, Spryte?

Link: I can't pick up my sword and Ganon's got my body. What am I gonna do?

Zelda: Only thing we can do. (picks up sword and spins it around) Get it back.

Link: My heroic princess. Kiss me.

Zelda: Oh, shut up! Let's go!

(in the Underworld, Moblins are trying to wake up Link's body inside the Evil Jar)

Moblin: It no use. He not wake up.

Ganon: Hmm...most curious. Still, it matters little, awake or asleep! Until that Triforce is mine, the princess will never see [?] again!

(Link and Zelda are walking through the underworld. Zelda opens a door and it closes)

Zelda: Ah! Ugh...the door won't open! Link, can you hear me? (Link goes through the wall) Link!

Link: You don't have to shout.

Zelda: Ah! (waves sword blindly at Link) Don't...do that!

Link: You swing that sword like a girl!

Zelda: I AM a girl!

Link: Yes, uh, I've noticed. Heh.

Zelda: Ugh! Even when you're a ghost, you're disgusting!

Link: Well excuuuuuse me, princess! Just trying to keep my spirits up, heh. (various Stalfos come out of several doors) Uh-oh, look out! Stalfos! Stay back, princess, I'll handle these boneheads! (runs towards Stalfos)

Zelda: No, you won't, dummy. You're a ghost! (Stalfos pass through Link and towards Zelda)

Link: Whoops, I forgot. (Stalfos prepare to attack Zelda but she jumps out of their way) Yoohoo, looking for me? (shoots a zap at the Stalfos but is taken aback due to its power) Ah!

Link: No, no! You've gotta aim! (Zelda zaps another Stalfos but falls back again) You're doing it wrong! Two hands for a beginner. (Zelda blocks a Stalfos attack)

Zelda: Hey, I zapped one, didn't I?

Link: You were lucky. Look out! (Zelda defeats three more Stalfos) One's gonna grab ya! (Stalfos grabs Zelda from behind)

Stalfos: Got you!

Zelda: (struggling) Don't give me that look, Link! Just do something, will you?

Stalfos: Link? What? Where is he?

Link: (gets behind Stalfos) Right here!

Stalfos: Ahhh! (runs away scared and Zelda zaps him)

Zelda: Ah! Took care of them.

Link: Tsk tsk tsk. Pretty shabby swordplay, princess.

Zelda: Huh? Well you weren't much help!

Link: Well, excuuuuuse me, princess! I happen to be a ghost at the moment. However, I did save you again back there. How about a kiss.

Zelda: Ah. Why, sure. (Zelda tries to kiss him but walks right past him, smiling)

Link: Ah, shoot, it doesn't work!

Zelda: What a shame. Ganon's lair is just ahead. Let's go get your body!

Link: So you can kiss me?

Zelda: Hah! No way, you missed your chance.

Link: Well, there'll be other chances. Say, I wonder why you're the only one that can see me.

Zelda: Just my bad luck, I guess.

Link: Well, excuuuse me, princess.

(in Ganon's lair)

Ganon: So...the foolish princess is attempting a rescue, is she?

Stalfos: Yes, and Link is with her.

Ganon: What? Impossible! Link is right there!

Stalfos: I heard his voice, evilness. And Zelda seemed to be able to see him, though I could not. (Ganon warps out of the Evil Jar)

Ganon: Blast! Then that's the explanation. I captured only Link's body, his spirit stayed behind! But one thing puzzles me. Why would Zelda be able to see him? She could only do that if--no, no, impossible.

Stalfos: What is it, evilness?

Ganon: Zelda could only see Link if...if she was in love with him! Zelda in love with Link? Augh! How disgusting!

(Link and Zelda were hiding and listening to what Ganon was saying)

Link: So...

Zelda: Now don't get the wrong idea, buster.

Link: You love me, huh.

Zelda: Augh, I do NOT!

Link: Yes you do, yes you do. (singing) That's why you can see me.

Zelda: No! I mean...maybe just a little.

Link: (jumps out of hiding) Zelda loves me! Zelda loves me!

Zelda: Shut up, you idiot! He'll hear you!

Link: Zelda loves me! Zelda...loves me!

Ganon: They're here! Find them, my servants! Now! (summons several Moblins from the Evil Jar)

Zelda: Now you've done it. Here they come!

Link: No problem, princess. They can't see me, remember?

Zelda: Yes, but they CAN see ME!

Link: Just hold them a while. (jumps off the ledge he was sitting on)

Zelda: Thanks heaps! (Moblins surround Zelda below and she jumps off, burning a carpet as a distraction)

Ganon: Get her, get her!

Link: Gonna be a hot kind[?] tonight! (jumps into the Evil Jar and hovers towards his body)

Zelda: (zapping several Moblins still using Link's sword) This is harder than I thought! (defeats a Moblin) Hah! That's better!

(inside the Evil Jar, a Stalfos is guarding Link's body)

Stalfos: Nice hat. (reaches out to grab it, but Link wakes up)

Link: Hah! I'm back! Give me a bomb, bonehead. NOW! (Stalfos does so)

Zelda: (continues to zap Moblins but is eventually grabbed by the arms by two) Ah!

Ganon: Hah! I have you now.

Link: No you don't, pigface! (uses bomb to break the Evil Jar which causes all of the water to come out, flooding away Ganon and his minions)

Ganon: I'll get you for this, Link! I'll get you!

Zelda: Link! (kicks the Crissword over to Link)

Link: (catches it) Hah! (zaps the rest of the Moblins) Boy, I'm good. No wonder you love me.

Zelda: Don't get a swelled head. I just like you a little, that's all. (Underworld begins to rumble since the Evil Jar is shooting beams everywhere, destroying everything)

Link: Uh-oh. We'll argue about it later. C'mon!

(outside)

Link: Well, love me or not, I DID save you. Kiss me.

Zelda: Well...ok. A quick little kiss. But remember, it doesn't mean anything!

Link: 'Course not... (as she's about to kiss him, the piece of ledge that Link was standing on breaks off and he falls) Whoa!

Zelda: Link! Are you all right?

Link: Ow....this ALWAYS happens!